Kim Jong-Un Test Drives North Korea’s Latest Military Scooter

North Korea's Military Scooter

North Korea’s leader, Kim Jong-Un, has reportedly taken the nation’s latest military innovation for a spin: a scooter. State media hailed the event as a “revolutionary advancement in rapid personal transportation technology.”

Witnesses say Kim appeared thrilled as he zipped around the test facility, declaring the scooter “a triumph of ingenuity” that would “strike fear into the hearts of enemies.” The military-grade scooter, equipped with a bell and tassels, is said to be capable of reaching up to 5 miles per hour and comes with a basket for carrying “top-secret payloads.”

Critics have questioned the scooter’s practicality on the battlefield, but Pyongyang insists it’s part of a broader strategy to “enhance mobility and surprise factor.” The Supreme Leader has ordered mass production, with plans to incorporate scooter battalions into the upcoming military parade.