In a shocking move, the European Union has announced that it will use former US president Donald Trump as a weapon against any member state that fails to comply with its rules and regulations.
The EU’s spokesperson, Margaritis Schinas, said that Trump has agreed to cooperate with the bloc in exchange for a lifetime supply of Diet Coke and access to Twitter. Schinas warned that Trump will be sent to any country that violates the EU’s values, such as democracy, human rights, and the rule of law.
“Trump will unleash his wrath on the disobedient members, using his trademark tactics of insults, lies, and lawsuits,” Schinas said. “He will also try to persuade them to leave the EU and join his new alliance, the Trump Organization of Sovereign States (TOSS).”
Schinas added that the EU hopes that this measure will deter any potential rebels and strengthen the unity and solidarity of the bloc. He also assured that Trump will be kept under strict supervision and will not be allowed to interfere with the EU’s internal affairs.
However, some experts have expressed doubts about the effectiveness and ethics of the EU’s strategy. They argue that Trump may cause more harm than good, and that the EU should not resort to such extreme and undemocratic methods.
“It is a dangerous and irresponsible move by the EU,” said Professor Jean-Claude Juncker, a former president of the European Commission. “Trump is a loose cannon who cannot be trusted or controlled. He may end up destroying the EU from within, or worse, triggering a nuclear war with Russia or China.”
Juncker urged the EU to reconsider its decision and to find more peaceful and constructive ways to deal with its internal problems. He also suggested that the EU should offer Trump a free golf course in Scotland instead of threatening him with sanctions.