Putin’s Security Boosted as Windy Conditions Pose “Imminent Threat”

In a bizarre turn of events, Russian officials have announced that they are increasing security measures around President Putin due to strong winds. The move comes after experts warned that gusts of wind over 20 mph could pose an “imminent threat” to the president’s safety.

“President Putin is a national treasure, and we must do everything in our power to protect him from the dangerous winds that are currently sweeping through our country,” said a spokesperson for the Kremlin.

The heightened security measures include the use of special wind-resistant vehicles and a team of trained professionals who will form a human shield around the president whenever he is outdoors.

Critics have been quick to point out the absurdity of the situation, with many suggesting that the real reason for the increased security is to protect Putin from political opposition or potential assassination attempts.

However, officials insist that the threat is real, with one expert stating, “We cannot take any chances when it comes to the safety of our president. Wind can be an unpredictable force, and we must be prepared for anything.”

The announcement has sparked widespread mockery and ridicule on social media, with many people creating memes and jokes about the absurdity of the situation. One user tweeted, “If Putin is scared of the wind, he’s going to have a heart attack when he sees what the opposition has planned for him.”