Trump Declares Himself Leader of Humanity, Aliens Unimpressed

In a bold move, former US President Donald Trump has declared himself the leader of all humanity, insisting that he is the only person capable of uniting the world and solving its problems.

“I am the chosen one,” Trump declared at a press conference. “The world needs me now more than ever, and I’m ready to step up and lead humanity to greatness.”

However, not everyone is impressed with Trump’s grandiose claims. Alien leaders from across the galaxy have dismissed Trump’s announcement as “laughable” and “delusional.”

“We have been watching your planet for centuries, and we can safely say that Trump is not the leader humanity needs,” said Zorgon the Wise, a spokesperson for the Galactic Council. “In fact, he’s not even the leader humanity deserves.”

Despite the intergalactic snub, Trump remains undeterred. He has already begun drawing up plans for a new global government, with himself at the helm.

“It’s going to be tremendous,” Trump said. “We’ll have the best government, the best policies, and the best people. Believe me, nobody does leadership better than me.”