Russian State Duma Deputies Open School for Mastering the Art of Elusive Promises Without Action

In a groundbreaking move, the esteemed members of the Russian State Duma have unveiled their latest venture: a specialized school aimed at honing the craft of making promises without ever actually following through. Aptly named the “School of Elusive Promises,” it promises to be a haven for aspiring politicians looking to master the art of empty words and cunning rhetoric.

The curriculum at this unique educational institution is carefully crafted to teach future lawmakers the fine balance between making grandiose commitments and conveniently sidestepping any actual action. Courses include “The Art of Vague Pledges 101,” “Empty Promises and Plausible Deniability,” and the highly popular “How to Twist Words Like a Pro.”

Professor Ivan Dodgerov, a renowned expert in political doublespeak, leads the faculty with an impressive track record of promises never fulfilled. He proudly claims, “We are molding a new generation of politicians who can confidently promise the moon while delivering nothing but stardust. It’s an essential skill in the ever-evolving world of politics.”

The school also boasts a state-of-the-art “Promise Generator Lab” where students can practice generating hollow commitments at lightning speed. They will be provided with cutting-edge technology, such as the “Verbal Acrobatics Simulator” and the “Deception-O-Meter,” to ensure they reach peak levels of evasiveness.

Critics argue that this initiative perpetuates the stereotype of politicians making empty promises. However, proponents defend it, stating that it merely formalizes an existing practice and offers transparency in the realm of political duplicity.

As news of the school spreads, aspiring politicians from around the world are expressing their interest in enrolling. Some renowned figures have even offered to guest lecture, sharing their experiences in the fine art of prevarication.