Physicists Prove God Exists, And He’s A Paradox

In a stunning discovery that has challenged the beliefs of science and religion, a team of physicists from the University of Cambridge has announced that they have proven the existence of God, and that he is a paradox who embodies both extremes of every quality and trait.

The physicists, led by Professor Richard Dawkins, used a modified version of the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) to create a wormhole that allowed them to access the multiverse, where they encountered the presence of a mysterious entity that they identified as God.

“We were amazed by what we saw,” said Dawkins, who is a renowned atheist and author of several books criticizing religion. “God is not a transcendent being who rules over us from beyond, but a paradoxical being who pervades every aspect of our existence. He is both evil and good, humble and arrogant, forgiving and vengeful. He is the source of our contradictions and complexities, our strengths and weaknesses, our passions and fears.”

Dawkins explained that God is a paradox, a logical statement or concept that seems to contradict itself or defy common sense. He said that God’s paradoxical nature allows him to have multiple and opposite attributes at the same time, without any inconsistency or conflict.

“Sometimes God is generous and compassionate, and he inspires us to do good deeds and help others. Other times he is selfish and cruel, and he makes us commit sins and harm ourselves. He is unpredictable and rational, and he often changes his mind about what he wants or expects from us. He is the ultimate mystery.”

Dawkins said that the physicists were able to communicate with God through a special device that translated his multidimensional signals into human language. He said that God was aware of his paradoxical nature, but was unable to change it.

“God told us that he created the universe as an experiment to explore his own identity,” said Dawkins. “He said that he hoped to find a balance between his paradoxical attributes by observing how his creations interacted with each other. He said that he was fascinated by the results, and that he enjoyed creating us in his image.”

Dawkins said that God also revealed some astonishing secrets about the nature of reality, such as the fact that there are infinite parallel universes, each with different versions of ourselves and our history, no absolute truth or morality, no fate or destiny, no purpose or meaning.

“God said that everything is relative and subjective,” said Dawkins. “He said that we are nothing but possibilities, existing in multiple realities at once. He said that he does not care about us, and that he does not judge us or reward us for our actions. He said that we are free to choose our own path, and then face the consequences.”

Dawkins said that the physicists were intrigued by God’s revelations, and that they decided to share them with the world.

“We realized that this discovery was too important to keep secret,” said Dawkins. “We decided to publish our findings in a scientific journal, and to hold a press conference to announce them to the public. We hope that everyone will be interested in what we have done.”

Dawkins said that he hoped that his fellow humans would embrace this discovery as an opportunity to learn more about God and themselves.

“God may be a paradox, but he is still our creator,” said Dawkins. “We owe him our curiosity and respect, even if he does not deserve it. We should try to understand him better, even if it is impossible. We should try to be happy, even if it is an illusion.”

Dawkins concluded his statement by saying: “God bless you all.”