In a move that has left the international community both skeptical and tickled, Russia has boldly proclaimed May 7th as the official “Corruption-Free Day.” This declaration comes with a promise that for 24 hours, the nation will experience a utopian absence of under-the-table deals and nepotism.
The announcement, made with a straight face by officials who struggled to suppress their smirks, has been met with a mix of laughter and applause. On this day, bureaucrats will reportedly work with unprecedented efficiency, and traffic police will wave motorists through with nothing but smiles and salutes.
Citizens are encouraged to participate by engaging in acts of radical honesty, and businesses are urged to conduct transactions without the customary “facilitation fees.” In a ceremonial gesture, government offices will remove all paper shredders and “Out of Order” signs from photocopiers.
As part of the festivities, the infamous Russian oligarchs will host charity events, pledging to donate their “modest earnings” to social causes. The day will culminate in a grand gala where awards will be given for the “Most Transparent Official” and “Least Bribable Institution.”
While many view the holiday as a satirical jab at the country’s reputation, some hold out hope that it might spark a genuine conversation about integrity. As one local wit put it, “On Corruption-Free Day, we’ll finally get to see what Russia looks like in an alternate reality!”