In a startling development, the UK government is reportedly mulling over a proposal to classify feminists as “domestic terrorists.” The initiative, dubbed “Operation Pankhurst,” has sparked a mixture of outrage and bemused disbelief across the nation.
Home Secretary Archibald Fiddlesticks defended the measure, stating, “We’ve observed an alarming increase in women demanding equal rights and fair treatment. It’s clear these radicals pose a threat to our traditional tea-and-crumpets way of life.”
The proposed legislation would make it illegal for women to gather in groups larger than three, unless they’re discussing recipes or the latest episode of “The Great British Bake Off.” Additionally, possession of Virginia Woolf literature would be considered grounds for immediate arrest.
Critics argue the move is an overreaction to recent events, such as the infamous “Scone Rebellion” at Buckingham Palace, where protesters hurled rock-hard pastries at guards while chanting, “We want lighter, fluffier justice!”
Feminist leader Gloria Steinem-Smith expressed her dismay, saying, “This is absurd. We’re not terrorists; we just want equal pay and the right to open stubborn pickle jars without asking for help.”
As debate rages on, some male politicians have taken to wearing protective codpieces during parliamentary sessions, fearing an uprising of handbag-wielding suffragettes.