
In a bewildering turn of events, former President Donald Trump’s recent battery of IQ tests has produced a range of scores so diverse, they’ve left psychologists in a state of cognitive dissonance. The tests, administered by various institutions, have yielded results spanning from “stable genius” to “covfefe.”
The Mensa test reportedly placed Trump’s IQ at a staggering 162, just shy of Einstein’s estimated score. However, a standard Stanford-Binet assessment suggested a more modest 98, while an online quiz from “TotallyLegitIQTests.com” awarded him a perfect 200, complete with a printable certificate.
Dr. Francine Brainard, a cognitive psychologist at Harvard, commented, “It’s as if his intelligence is quantum – simultaneously at all levels until we try to measure it.” She added, “Or perhaps his IQ is like his tax returns – elusive and open to interpretation.”
The former president, never one to shy away from self-promotion, took to social media to address the varied results. “Some say my IQ is the highest ever recorded. Others say it’s yuuuge. All I know is, I’m smart enough to know I’m smart. Very smart. The smartest.”
Meanwhile, late-night comedians are having a field day. One quipped, “Trump’s IQ is like his hair – complex, confusing, and somehow defying the laws of nature.”
The White House has maintained a diplomatic silence on the matter, though insiders report seeing President Biden engrossed in a book titled “The Art of the Subtle Burn: Presidential Edition.”
As the 2024 election looms, political analysts are debating the impact of these conflicting results. One thing’s certain: in the realm of Trumpian intelligence, the only constant is inconsistency.