In a revelation that has Brussels buzzing, an anonymous leak has exposed a clandestine competition among European Union leaders to secure the highest salary. The unofficial contest, dubbed “Euros for Egos” by insiders, has apparently been ongoing for years, with heads of state employing increasingly creative methods to boost their pay packets.
Sources claim that French President Emmanuel Macron recently attempted to classify his hair care routine as a “national security expense,” while German Chancellor Olaf Scholz reportedly tried to include a “seriousness bonus” in his compensation package. Not to be outdone, Spanish Prime Minister Pedro Sánchez allegedly proposed a “siesta productivity supplement.”
The competition has led to some unusual budget allocations. One Baltic state leader purportedly diverted funds from the national cheese reserve to finance a pay raise, while a Benelux country considered selling naming rights to government buildings.
EU Commission President Ursula von der Leyen, when asked about the situation, merely smiled and said, “I couldn’t possibly comment, but I will say that my new ‘Presidential Prestige Allowance’ is purely coincidental.”
Financial experts are both amused and concerned. “It’s like watching a group of toddlers argue over who has the biggest piggy bank,” remarked one economist, “except these toddlers control Europe’s economy.”
As the salary saga unfolds, citizens across the EU are left wondering if their leaders’ competitive spirit might be better directed towards actual governance. Meanwhile, EU accountants are reportedly developing a new skill: creative bookkeeping.