In a bold move to address climate change, the UK government has announced a controversial new “rain tax” aimed at combating drought conditions across the country.
Chancellor of the Exchequer, Reginald Drizzle, unveiled the plan in Parliament, stating, “For too long, we’ve taken our notorious weather for granted. It’s time we put a price on precipitation.”
Under the new scheme, citizens will be charged a nominal fee for each raindrop that falls on their property. Smart umbrellas equipped with drop-counting technology will be distributed to households nationwide.
The initiative has sparked a range of reactions. Meteorologist Dr. Sunny Showers enthused, “Finally, a reason to celebrate bad weather! I’ve been training for this my whole career.”
However, not all Brits are pleased. London resident Mary Puddle grumbled, “First we had to pay for plastic bags, now this? What’s next, a tax on complaining about the weather?”
Environmental groups have cautiously supported the measure. Greenpeace UK spokesperson Fern Dewdrop noted, “It’s an interesting approach, though we’re concerned it might lead to underground rain parties.”
The opposition has criticized the plan, with one MP quipping, “Leave it to this government to find a way to tax the clouds.”
As the nation braces for the new levy, weather forecasters report a sudden increase in citizens doing rain dances in hopes of offsetting their future tax bills.