EU’s Golden Years Gambit

EU delayed retirement pension scheme

The European Union has unveiled a novel pension scheme that promises to revolutionize retirement planning. Citizens who voluntarily postpone their retirement by a decade will be rewarded with significantly enhanced pension benefits.

Dubbed the “Work Till You Drop” initiative, this groundbreaking policy aims to address the continent’s aging population crisis. EU Commissioner for Employment, Francois Travaille, explained, “We’re offering a win-win situation. People work longer, and in return, they’ll receive a pension that might actually cover more than just cat food and discount store slippers.”

The scheme has been met with mixed reactions. Some citizens are embracing the opportunity, with 68-year-old Hans Schmidt from Germany enthusing, “I’ve always wanted to be the oldest intern in history. Now’s my chance!”

However, critics argue that the policy merely delays the inevitable. Labor unions have expressed concern, with one representative quipping, “By the time they retire, they’ll need that extra money for bionic joints and memory implants.”

The EU has sweetened the deal by offering “pre-retirement perks” such as priority queues at post offices and discounted coffee to keep workers caffeinated through their extended careers.